


Greyscale

by rawrchelle



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Zombies, M/M, but this is not a TLOU story, only TLOU-adjacent, à la The Last of Us
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:13:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29119521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawrchelle/pseuds/rawrchelle
Summary: A fallen society. People who only look out for themselves. A pandemic that turns people into mindless beasts. This is the world that Levi has known since he was a child, and it has been proven to him time and time again that the only person he can depend on is himself. It is simple, has always been simple: survive by any means necessary.Those who are lucky enough to avoid infection become monsters in other ways. At least, that’s how he sees it. He’s been alone for most of his life and prefers it that way, but Erwin Smith has a sort of gravity that he can’t seem to escape.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 26
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

Levi has always been a person who plays it smart; it’s how he’s survived all this time. He slinks through the shadows, sleeps in abandoned buildings, and never stays in one place for long. And he definitely avoids areas populated with people. So suffice to say, the fact that he’s lying on his front on the roof of a building, scouting out the hospital next door that’s clearly occupied, doesn’t make him feel very comfortable.

It’s day three, and he has a grasp on the patrol patterns around the perimeter. From the traffic that goes in and out of the main entrance, he estimates that there are at least fifty people who live inside. If everything remains normal today, he’ll make his move tomorrow. He ideally likes to scout a location for at least a week before taking action, but unfortunately, he doesn’t have the luxury of time on his side. At this thought, Levi scowls for what feels like the hundredth time today.

The hospital is a large building with tall glass windows. It looks dirty and rundown, like every other building in the country, but it seems like it would have garnered prestige back when things like architecture mattered. This is just a guess though, because Levi isn’t sure—he’s too young to really remember that era.

Along the top of the building is its name in big capital letters: SAINT MARY’S HOSPITAL. After today, Levi’s going to get the hell out of town so he never has to see it again.

He’s pulled from his thoughts when he hears the whir of a vehicle. He peers through the leaves of the bush and watches a truck pull up. Two men wearing bulletproof vests and helmets with long arms strapped to their back jump out of the passenger side before it has even come to a full stop and climb into the back. There, they pull an unconscious man out. He’s wearing a brown leather jacket and his own backpack is full of his own firearms; it’s clear that he’s an outsider. Once the truck comes to a full stop, the driver hops out and pulls a second unconscious person out of the back: this time a young girl with her short brown hair tied into a ponytail. By her face, Levi guesses she’s around twelve, maybe thirteen years old.

This is unusual.

“We got the girl! _The_ girl!” the man carrying the girl shouts to the patrols at the front of the building. “Get Dr. Anderson!”

This seems to mean something to the soldiers who hear it, because everyone disperses. The unconscious man and the girl are brought inside, and in less than a minute, it’s so quiet that Levi can hear his blood rushing in his ears. There is only one guard left watching the main entrance.

He was going to wait until tomorrow, but it seems like something’s changed. It would be good to take advantage of the commotion.

Levi crawls on his front until he’s reached the opposite side of the roof, out of view. Then he scales down the building using the fire escape until he reaches the ground, landing with quiet feet. He keeps low in the tall grass, staying out of the guard’s line of vision as he closes in, silently pulling his switchblade out of his pocket. He’d rather kill as few people as possible and make less enemies, but this guy is wearing a helmet, so he won’t be able to knock him out.

Levi slits his throat without hesitation and supports the body when it collapses so it doesn’t crumple loudly to the ground. He grimaces at the sensation of warm blood on his hands.

He remains low as he makes his way through the hospital, carefully combing through the rooms and checking the faces of the people he comes across. It’s one thing to sneak into an occupied and armed facility to steal supplies. It’s another to sneak into an occupied and armed facility to kill someone.

And it’s a whole other ballpark to sneak into an occupied and armed facility to kill the leader of the Fireflies.

Levi hates that he’s in this situation. When he began passing through Salt Lake City a week ago, he had no idea that he was stepping into the middle of a turf war. If he did, he would’ve avoided the city entirely. But cities are always full of supplies and he was running low, so he followed the highway into town, weaving through the abandoned cars that never made their way out of the city when the pandemic first hit. Nearly every city looks like this now: the structures and technology from an age gone by are left without purpose, waiting until nature reclaims them for its own.

Of course it’d be just his luck to be ambushed right away.

The first gunshot narrowly missed him, and that was what sent him into a sprint. He kept low as he used the vehicles for cover, occasionally crawling underneath one to confuse his assailants. It wasn’t his first time being targeted by a group of people; it’s common for lone travelers to be attacked. They make for easy pickings, and in this day and age, anything can be a commodity: food, bullets, even shoes.

Levi would’ve been able to escape if they didn’t drive an ambulance right into him.

He had managed to dodge the impact, but it was disorienting enough for the people chasing him to tackle and restrain him. Before he knew it, one of the attackers had hit his temple with the butt of their rifle and knocked him out.

When he came to, he was in some nondescript room and tied to a chair. His head throbbed with pain and there was a man sitting on a couch a few feet away from him, searching through his backpack. He had an ugly goatee and a receding hairline.

“Levi, is it?” he had said. At the sound of his name, Levi narrowed his eyes. That man must’ve dug all the way to the bottom of his bag if he’s learned his name. “I’m Nile.”

Levi remained silent.

“I caught wind of a Levi traveling north from Sandy a few weeks ago. That you?” Levi searched Nile’s face, trying to understand where he was going with this. “Because if it is, it’d sure be lucky on my part to catch the guy who killed twenty of my men who were just on a supply run.”

Levi remembered those men. They were loud and conceited. Nowhere near as competent as they thought they were.

“They wouldn’t leave me alone,” he said flatly.

“And that meant they had to die?”

“They were trying to kill me,” he corrected.

Nile leaned forward on the couch until his elbows rested on his thighs. His brow knit together as he thought. He didn’t look angry, but Levi wouldn’t have been afraid regardless. He was already beginning to slip out of the ropes he was bound in.

“Let me cut you a deal, Levi,” he eventually said. “My men are angry—rightfully so. But we have a bigger problem right now. And if you help us out with it, I don’t mind turning away for a moment, just long enough for you to escape.” Levi cocked his head to the side to show that he was listening. “We’re in the middle of a turf war with the Fireflies.”

He blinked. “There are no Fireflies anymore.”

“Unfortunately, that’s not the case. They’ve taken up residence in St. Mary’s Hospital.”

“Are they still spouting empty lies?”

Nile shrugged. “Don’t know, don’t care. All I know is they’ve been entering our turf while scavenging, and we don’t like it.”

“Then take care of your own problems.”

“They’re well-armed and organized. I’ve lost plenty of my people to them already, and that’s not counting the twenty that you killed.”

“What, so you think I can do something about it?” Levi asked. “I’m just one person.” He continued to discreetly twist his wrists, loosening the ropes little by little. They were rubbing his skin raw, but that was a small price to pay for survival.

“I’m not saying you have to take out all of the Fireflies,” Nile said. “Just the leader.” He showed Levi an old and tattered wanted poster of a woman with dark, curly hair. It was probably printed back when the government was still trying to keep things under control. Back when there was still a government at all. Underneath her photo is only a first name: Marlene. “Cut off the head of the beast, and the rest will be easier to deal with. I know you’d be able to do it, Levi—you’re nearly out of those ropes, which tells me that as strong of a fighter as you are, stealth is probably your strong suit.”

Levi froze. The fact that Nile caught on meant that he was more astute than Levi gave him credit for. “Just letting me go isn’t enough. I could fight my way out of here, no problem.”

Although Nile didn’t look threatened by his statement, he nodded anyway. “What else do you want?”

“Two weeks’ worth of food. Bullets. A pistol.”

“Done.” He had agreed easily to terms that even Levi thought were unreasonable for a person in his position. He must be pretty desperate to win this turf war with the Fireflies. “You’ll get those things when you’ve done the job.”

It would’ve been easy to just slip out of those ropes and leave. But the promise of a new pistol was tempting; his old one got busted a few weeks ago and he was working with only long arms and his switchblade. So even though Levi knew of the Fireflies’ reputation, of what they were capable of, he had agreed. It had seemed like the right decision at the time, if not a little risky.

And even though St. Mary’s Hospital is a huge building, it still seems like the right decision. It’s mostly deserted as he makes his way up the floors, searching for Marlene. Whatever power the Fireflies used to have that helped them make a name for themselves all across the country over a year ago is gone now. For all Levi can tell, they’re just another ragtag group of people just trying to get by.

Something seems to be happening, because the patrols appear distracted. There are whispers of the girl they brought in—something about _brain scans_ and _unconscious_ and _immune_. Levi ignores the chatter in favor of his job.

He searches two floors of intensive care units and then reaches Radiology. He hears voices—a man and a woman. By this point, Levi’s muscles are aching from remaining crouched for so long, but he pushes on until he gets close enough. He peeks through the open door and sees a head of dark, curly hair.

Found her.

He’ll kill her first, and then he’ll deal with the other one after. He’s wearing hospital scrubs; he’ll probably go down without much of a fight—

Just as Levi pulls his switchblade from his pocket, the air splits with the sound of a gunshot and the bullet lands right in his thigh.

He swears loudly but launches anyway, but for as fast as his reflexes are, Marlene is faster. In the moment it takes for him to reach her, lunging at her neck with his blade, she leans to the left and kicks him right where blood is seeping through his pants. Levi swears again as he crumples, and in the next moment, someone has kicked his blade out of his grip and shoved his face against the ground with a strong hand.

“Are you alright?” The voice is male. Deep. Levi scowls against the grit of the floor, wriggling to test the give that the hand has. There is none.

“I’m fine,” Marlene answers. In Levi’s periphery, he sees her squat down and peer at him. “What can we do for you?” she asks, as though he didn’t just try to kill her. “Are you alone?”

When Levi doesn’t answer either of her questions, her attention returns to the man holding him down. “Restrain him in the radiologist’s office and do a sweep of the building. I’ll deal with him later.”

The man lets go of Levi’s head and gathers his wrists together instead, yanking him backwards and up to his feet. Pain shoots up Levi’s leg and he stumbles, but the man keeps him from falling over again. He remains behind Levi as he steers him down a hallway and makes a left. Levi considers breaking free of his hold and making an escape, but as if the man reads his mind in that very moment, he feels the hard press of a gun to his lower back.

When he’s seated on the floor and being tied to an exposed pipe in the wall, he’s able to get a clearer look at his captor. Underneath his helmet, Levi can see blonde hair, and his eyes are startlingly blue, even in the low light. The guy’s got a tall build and broad shoulders; he’s clearly strong, but Levi has been able to slip through the grasp of people even bigger than him. In any other situation, he wouldn’t have been caught.

He’s tying him up with zip ties. Of course he’s tying him up with the one thing Kenny didn’t teach him how to get out of. Of fucking course.

“Stay here,” Blue Eyes says with that deep voice of his. Where the hell would Levi even go? “Marlene is kind. She probably won’t kill you if you explain yourself to her.”

He knows he shouldn’t respond, but he can’t help it. He’s pissed about getting caught. “It’s probably that kindness that got the Fireflies as fucked up as they are now. You guys are caught up in something as petty as a turf war? Seems pretty pathetic to me.”

“Are you alone?” Blue Eyes asks, unperturbed.

“Guess you’ll have to find out.”

He watches Levi for a moment longer, thinking, before rising from his crouch. Levi has to crane his neck up to properly look at his face. “I’ll check on you in a bit,” he says.

 _Don’t,_ Levi thinks as he disappears out the open door.

* * *

He spends the better part of the next hour trying to get out of the zip ties to no avail.

His wrists are rubbed red and raw and his skin is shredded in some spots, but Levi is nothing if not diligent and annoyingly persistent. He’s still trying when Blue Eyes returns with gauze, alcohol, and a pair of tweezers.

He only briefly glances at Levi’s wrecked wrists before settling down on the floor in front of him. “Can I take off your pants?”

Levi stares. “What the fuck?”

“Unless you want me to cut off your entire pant leg when I dress your wound.”

“What the fuck,” he repeats, under his breath this time, and then internally curses because he’s wearing the only pair of pants he owns. “Fine. Whatever.” He pointedly looks at a moldy spot on the wall as Blue Eyes works at his pants, but he can still feel his fingers brushing against his bare belly. His hands move to rest at Levi’s waistband, and Levi takes the cue to lift his hips so he can pull his pants down to his knees. The cold air sends goosebumps all the way down his thighs.

“Did Nile put you up to this?” Blue Eyes asks as he unwraps some gauze, unfazed by Levi’s state of undress. At least that makes one of them.

“What?” Levi is surprised that he hit the nail right on the head.

“You mentioned the turf war,” Blue Eyes said, continue to work. “We certainly didn’t tell you about that, so it must have been Nile.”

Levi bites the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing when he pours the alcohol on his wound. “If you already knew the answer, then don’t ask. Isn’t your boss supposed to talk to me? Why am I stuck with you?”

“She’s busy,” he answers easily.

“Why are you helping me?”

“Because I get the feeling that after today, it won’t matter whether I helped you or not, and if that’s the case, I’d rather do some good. Hold still, please.”

Levi sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth as Blue Eyes slowly sticks the tweezers into his wound, gently probing for the bullet. Levi has no idea what he’s talking about, but he spent the last of his alcohol on some Molotov cocktails two days ago, so he keeps quiet and lets him work.

“Why won’t it matter after today?”

“Hm?”

Levi knows he found the bullet, because he can feel the tweezers pulling wider inside his wound. He continues talking to distract himself from the pain. “You helping me. Why won’t it matter?”

“Because things are changing.”

“Does it have to do with that girl?”

Blue Eyes glances at him momentarily, considering his answer. “Yes,” he finally says.

“Why?” The man doesn’t answer Levi’s next question, so he’s left to deal with the sting as the bullet is carefully extracted from his thigh. Once it’s finally out, Blue Eyes wipes the area clean and begins dressing the wound with the gauze, wrapping it tightly around Levi’s leg. The entire time, each brush of his fingers against Levi’s skin gives off the sensation of both ice and fire, filling him with angry gratitude.

“What did Nile offer you?” he asks once he moves to pull Levi’s pants back up. His gaze is fixated on Levi’s legs the entire time he speaks, and Levi doesn’t know if he’s embarrassed about it or relieved that he doesn’t have to make eye contact. “We can offer you more.”

He has to clear his throat before he answers. “Some food and bullets. And a pistol.” He pauses. “And some pants.”

After doing up Levi’s fly, the man straightens up and looks at him, the barest hint of a smile on his lips. Shit, those eyes are so blue. Who gave him the right? “That can be arranged,” he says, and something about his tone of voice makes Levi believe him.

When he doesn’t respond, Blue Eyes clears his throat and stands to his feet. “If I’m not back with you in a bit, someone else will be. In the meantime,” he pointedly glances at Levi’s wrists, “stop trying to escape.”

If Levi could, he’d give him the finger.

* * *

About another hour passes before the alarms go off.

He looks upwards on instinct, but his gaze is only met with rotting ceiling tiles. It’s only when his wrists begin stinging that he realizes he’s trying to wriggle free of the zip ties again.

Alarms are not a good sign. Alarms mean something unsuspected and dangerous is happening. And in unsuspected and dangerous situations, no one cares to check on the prisoner in the radiologist’s office.

What he’s about to do is monumentally stupid, but he doesn’t know what to do otherwise. Levi grits his teeth, braces himself, and yanks his wrists as hard as he can.

“Fuck!” The alarm drowns out his voice, but he feels it reverberating in his chest all the same. He’s broken free of the zip ties, but dislocated one of his shoulders in the process. The pain spreads through his neck and arm like a wildfire, makes his vision go blurry for a moment. Once he regains his bearings and manages to breathe again, he forces himself to his feet, limping over to his backpack that’s been sitting on floor on the opposite end of the room. It’s been emptied of his weapons so it’s significantly lighter now, but he slings it over his good shoulder anyway and peeks his head out the open door.

The hallway is flashing with bright red lights, but the area appears empty. Levi sinks into a crouch, trying to avoid the sting of his bullet wound, and begins to move. Forget Marlene. Forget Nile. He just wants to get out of here.

For how loud and insistent the alarm is, the hospital is far emptier than it was when Levi first snuck in. He goes down two flights of stairs until it becomes barricaded with tables and cabinets, and slips through the ICU to find another way down. He’s passing by the receptionist’s desk when he catches movement out of the corner of his eye.

Blue Eyes holds up his hands in a sign of peace, as if Levi could even hurt him with his injuries and the grand total of zero weapons he has. “I was just on my way to get you,” he shouts, voice booming loud over the alarm. “Why didn’t you wait for me?”

“Well, excuse me for not banking my life on a complete stranger,” Levi shouts back. “What’s going on?”

The other man glances around and gestures for Levi to follow him. Levi scowls because he doesn’t like being ordered around by some lackey, but he follows anyway. He leads him to the somehow functional elevator and they take it the rest of the way to the main lobby. Once there, they head out a back exit and into a parking lot, the sunlight searing his eyeballs and the blaring alarm only a numb sound in the background once the door closes behind them. Levi is convinced his ears will still be ringing from it days from now.

“That’s better, isn’t it?” Blue Eyes smiles. Levi doesn’t, but that doesn’t seem to faze him. “Your things, as promised.” He then kneels down and begins unpacking the large duffel back he has slung over his shoulder. Some cans of food, two packs of bullets, a pistol, a ratty and stained pair of jeans, and a belt. “They looked like they’d be a bit big for you, so I thought a belt was in order.” And then he unpacks all of Levi’s weapons that were confiscated.

Levi stares dumbly at the mountain of supplies. “Why?”

“Why what?”

He gestures widely at all the things. “This. Why are you doing all this for me.”

Now that they’re both standing still, Levi can see just how tall he is. He isn’t stupid, he knows that he’s pretty short—a fact that usually gets him out of tough binds with big, overconfident opponents—but this guy must be six feet tall, at least. He’s got more than a head on Levi, and for some reason, that pisses him off.

“I suppose it’s because I believe in doing good,” he answers, which pisses Levi off even more.

“Nobody else seems to care about that,” he says with a tight jaw.

“That’s not true. The Fireflies care. Marlene cares—” He stops then, and the jovial expression slips from his features, revealing the tired lines of his eyes. “Marlene cared.”

Levi’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

Blue Eyes shakes his head. “Anyways. I don’t think I’ve introduced myself. My name is Erwin Smith.”

Levi hesitates, but then gives in. “Levi.”

“Just Levi?”

“Just Levi.”

Erwin smiles again, the crinkles clear in his forehead. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Just Levi.”

Great. This guy’s got rose-colored glasses _and_ a shitty sense of humor. “Since you’re so interested in doing good, you should set my shoulder. I dislocated it while getting out of your damn zip ties.”

Erwin’s eyes flicker over to his shoulder. “I had noticed.”

He had noticed and didn’t say anything about it. Of course. He was probably waiting for Levi to ask. Levi bites back the retort that’s on the tip of his tongue; he’s had to set his own shoulder before, and it’s not fun.

He looks away as Erwin places his hands on either side of his shoulder without another word. “Would you like me to count you down?”

“Just do it alrea—” Levi grunts in pain as Erwin sets it without warning. “What the hell? You didn’t even let me finish.”

“I had a feeling you’d say no.”

Levi scowls and kneels down, beginning to shove all of the supplies in his bag. His shoulder throbs with a residual ache, but he ignores it, opting for thinking about his next steps instead. If Marlene is dead, he could technically still return to Nile and demand his payment. It’d be slimy, but he needs to do all he can to get ahead in this world. He’s the only one looking out for himself.

Then he looks up at Erwin again. “What are you going to do now? Your leader is dead.”

He shrugs. “Oh, I don’t know. I’ll find a way.”

Levi neatly folds the stained pair of jeans before pressing them into his backpack. He bites the inside of his cheek. “Wanna come with me?”

“…I’m sorry?”

Levi keeps his eyes fixed on his backpack. “I mean, I’ve got no destination, I just go wherever. But if you don’t have a destination either, you could have some company, at least.”

Erwin kneels down to be eye level with Levi, and then he’s forced to look at him. Those stupid blue eyes, it feels like he’s drowning in them. “That’s very kind of you to offer, Levi. I don’t suspect you do that often.”

He scoffs. “Don’t be so full of yourself.” He puts his switchblade in his pocket, zips up his bag and stands up. “No skin off my back. I don’t know you, and I’ve always been alone.”

Erwin’s expression softens then. “There are things I need to do.” He says it like an apology.

“This is the apocalypse. What is there to do?”

“The Fireflies’ work is not done.”

Levi thinks back to the Firefly propaganda he used to see as a child, remembers the announcements the governments used to blare over the speakers back when they still had some semblance of power over the public. He stares at this hulk of a man and decidedly thinks that he’s an idiot.

“You guys were still looking for a cure?”

“Are,” Erwin corrects. “We _are_ looking for a cure.”

For a long moment, Levi is simply shocked into speechlessness.

“Have you ever considered,” he says evenly, “that humanity doesn’t deserve a cure?”

“That’s not for you to decide, is it?”

Levi throws his arm out, gesturing around them and towards the great beyond. “Look around us. This pandemic has been around for twenty years. The government made quarantine zones so horrible that some people preferred to live outside of them with the infected instead. And then people overthrew the government. And more people overthrew the new government. And then we eventually devolved into shitty lowlifes—murderers, rapists, cannibals. Do you _really think_ humanity deserves to be saved?”

Erwin’s eyes are on Levi the entire time he speaks, his gaze never faltering once. And then he replies, “Yes,” like it was never a question for him, like he fully believes with every fiber of his being that people are good.

“I.” Levi stops. There’s no point trying to reason with him. Blind faith, he’s come to realize, is a stronger force than logic will ever be. “Fine. Whatever. Enjoy your crusade. Hopefully I won’t be around to see it.” He puts his backpack on, now significantly heavier than it used to be, and grabs onto the straps to help distribute the weight. Erwin reaches out and gently touches one of his wrists where the skin tore, rubbed red and raw from the zip ties. It stings, but Levi doesn’t let it show on his face.

“Take care of yourself,” Erwin says gently.

He rolls his eyes. “You should really be worrying about yourself, not me.” And with that, he spins on his heel and walks—well, hobbles, really—away.

Levi doesn’t turn to look back, but even long after he’s out of sight, he swears can still feel Erwin’s eyes boring through him.

* * *

He considers going to Nile to get his extra supplies, but decides against it. He has no proof of Marlene’s death and he has no interest in making his way through Salt Lake City with a bad leg, so he takes the highway out of town as quickly and discreetly as he can. He travels north. Maybe he’ll go far enough to hit Canada. Maybe the people there ask for permission before they shank you.

As he travels, he tries to rid his mind of the memory of Erwin’s eyes, of that exact shade of bright and icy blue, but he never really does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may be jumping waaay too late onto the tender old man ship that is eruri, but I am here, and _boy_ am I excited. I do want to make clear that this isn't a SNK/TLOU crossover; I’m simply borrowing the universe. You don’t even need to know what TLOU is to enjoy this journey, and goodness, do I hope you guys enjoy.
> 
> Any and all feedback is appreciated! I’ve never written eruri before so, uh, it is extra appreciated in this situation.


	2. Chapter 2

_5 years later._

The heat of summer can sometimes be unbearable, but Levi prefers it to winter. At least in the summer, he doesn’t need to add freezing to death to the list of mortal threats, on top of being enslaved, murdered, or infected.

That being said though, Los Angeles is really fucking hot.

He wakes up to the sound of ocean waves lapping at the shore. It’s the sound that he’s woken up to for the past three weeks. Kenny used to say that people used to visit beaches for fun and relaxation—Levi kind of gets why. Something about the sound of water and the smell of salty air makes him feel hazy, unworried.

But of course, there’s always something to worry about.

He only has one second to react, and he fails to do so, before Farlan shoves him off their tiny bed in his sleep. Levi lands on the floor of the boat with a rough thump, which wakes up Isabel, who was sleeping on the couch.

“Morning, bro,” she mumbles, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and gazing blearily at him. “Why don’t you just sleep on the floor? You always seem to end up there anyway.”

“If he does that one more time, I’m cutting off his thumbs,” Levi mutters, rising to his feet and rubbing his sore hip.

“Do you _want_ him to die?”

“Yeah.”

Levi irritably yanks the covers off Farlan, which wakes him with a jolt. “Get up,” he says, before pushing open the doors of the boat and stepping into the morning sun.

They found this boat three weeks ago as they were traversing the beaches of Los Angeles. It was sitting on the sand and clearly not functional anymore, but when they searched it and found it uninhabited, save for the dust bunnies, they decided it would be a good place to make their home for the next little while—that is, after they cleaned it from top to bottom.

The surrounding areas are deserted of people. They run into infected fairly regularly whenever they scout for food and supplies, but they’re predictable and easy to deal with, as far as Levi’s concerned. It’s people he’s wary of. He wouldn’t mind staying here as long as no one bothers him.

So that’s what he’s doing, with Farlan and Isabel. To this day, Levi still doesn’t know what made these two cling to him like spores to lungs, but he can’t seem to shake them no matter how many scathing words he spits at them. And perhaps he didn’t try to as much as he would’ve before—before. Before he extended an offer to not be alone to someone, and was refused.

The one thing Levi does hate about the beach is the sand. It gets inside his shoes and leaves behind a dusty film, and because it’s literally everywhere, it’s impossible to avoid. He grabs his backpack, forgoes the ladder and jumps off the boat, and lands right into it.

“Already?” he hears Isabel call out above and behind him. He tilts his head up to see her leaning over the railing, her red hair pulled haphazardly into her signature pigtails.

“It’s only going to get hotter from here,” he says, readjusting his bag on his shoulders. “Let’s go.”

He waits two minutes for Isabel to join him, and another three for Farlan. After checking that they have everything they need, they begin their day.

First they trek to the creek half an hour away to fill up their canteens with fresh water. Then they head out into the wilderness of what used to be a zoo. Levi thinks they’re asinine now, but he does recall having visited one when he was younger and enjoying it. Children are so ignorant to the cruel realities of the world, and he was no exception.

Their last few visits to the zoo had yielded good luck for hunting. Levi always prefers fresh food compared to the canned stuff—stuff that was manufactured years ago, pumped so full of shit that they somehow haven’t gone bad by now. They tread quietly through the overgrown grass; Levi grips his shotgun tighter in his hands.

In the distance, just barely over the sound of their own breathing, he hears faint groaning. He lifts an arm up to signal Farlan and Isabel, and they freeze alongside him.

Levi closes his eyes and concentrates. “Sounds like there are two or three of them,” he says quietly.

“And a Clicker too,” Isabel whispers. Levi listens again, and frowns because she’s right; masked by the slow and continuous groans is the telltale sign of clicking, like someone is struggling to get a proper word past their throat. Clickers and Runners make a nasty combination.

They stay low in the grass and follow the sounds to the lion exhibit. Levi spots the Clicker immediately, aimlessly stumbling about. Its clothes are in tatters: rotting, moldy, torn, hardly considered clothes at all—but what defines a Clicker, other than the sounds it makes for echolocation, is its head. Whatever human head used to be there is gone, overtaken by large fungal growths that took years to grow, and the only thing left is the mouth, which is used as a weapon when it attacks. Levi has seen entire necks ripped out by a Clicker’s teeth.

The Runners are much stiller. There are three of them, all standing with their heads drooped, swaying on their feet. Runners still look human, for the most part, but they can still see, and they’re so fucking loud when they spot you that they’ll draw any Clickers in the area straight towards you. Levi would rather take on a horde of Clickers over a horde of Runners any day; of the two types of infected, Clickers are certainly faster and stronger, but they can be handled relatively safely as long as one moves slowly and quietly enough.

Levi makes eye contact with Farlan and Isabel and gestures towards the Clicker, indicating that he’ll clear it out first. They nod and slowly move closer to the Runners. Isabel’s got a knife in her hand, and Farlan’s holding onto a shotgun.

Levi creeps closer, pulling his switchblade out of his pocket and flipping it open. The Clicker’s moving erratically with no predictable path, turning once every dozen steps or so. He slowly closes the distance between them, muscles tight and ready to spring into action.

Once he’s directly behind it, he launches and grabs it around the shoulders, slicing open its throat. He holds on tight and forces its head upwards to avoid being bitten as it struggles and clicks, and waits until the last wisps of life finally leave it.

One of the Runners screams. He knows he’s been spotted. “The one on the left!” he hears Farlan shout to Isabel, shortly before his shotgun goes off.

Levi grits his teeth and waits for three agonizing seconds before the Clicker finally goes slack in his arms. He drops it and narrowly misses the Runner charging at him; it turns around and lunges at him again, and he manages to stick his blade right between its eyes. It goes in easily; the disease makes quick work of the human head once it takes hold, and even though a skull is still there, it’s thinned and softened in the weeks and months that the fungal growths have infected the brain.

The Runner falls to the ground, dead, and when Levi pulls his blade free, he sees that Farlan and Isabel have dealt with the other two. “You guys okay?”

“Easy peasy!” Isabel replies with a grin, and Farlan gives him a thumbs up.

Their hunt is smooth from there on out, and they manage to catch a few snakes. As they make their way back to the boat to roast them up, a snake in each of their hands, Farlan and Isabel complain about how sick they are of eating reptiles, as if they have the luxury of choosing that to eat from one meal to the next.

“I miss not having sand in my shoes every second of the day,” Levi says, “but do you hear me complaining about it?”

“Well, we do now,” Farlan says with a cheeky grin, which Isabel apparently thinks is hilarious. Levi rolls his eyes.

As they walk along what used to be a boardwalk, he watches his feet put one step in front of the other and contemplates what’s worse: the stickiness of the sweat currently on his skin, or the stickiness of the ocean water if he chooses to wash off. Today, the lesser of the two evils is ocean water.

“Hey guys, look,” Isabel says, stopping in her tracks and pointing in the distance.

Levi looks up at the blue ocean and follows the line of her finger. She’s pointing at the docks a little ways in the distance—docks that they’ve walked past nearly every day since they found their little boat, but have always been deserted, just like every other place they’ve been to in this area.

But today, they’re not deserted. Today, there’s a small group of people there, loading supplies onto two rowboats. Levi is tempted to duck out of sight—old habits die hard—but it seems like they’ve already spotted them, because they’re waving. Isabel enthusiastically waves back and starts jogging towards them.

“Be careful,” Levi and Farlan chorus together as they jog after her, like they have so many times before. Isabel is far more trusting than she should be, considering she was born after the outbreak.

When they catch up to her, she’s already making friends. She’s talking to the tallest man there—he’s stupidly tall, even to Levi, who’s spent his entire life looking up at other men. His hair, parted in the middle, is bleached a light sandy brown by the sun, and he’s got a thin moustache and a goatee. Levi surveys him and the people he’s with. They’re not aggressive about it, but they’re all clearly armed. The tall one has a pistol in a holster strapped to his thigh and a rifle on his back. Levi pats his pocket to make sure his switchblade is still there.

Tall Guy glances over at Levi and gives him a small smile. “That’s Levi,” Isabel says. “And that’s Farlan.”

“Levi. It’s good to meet you. I’m Mike.” Mike extends his hand and Levi takes it, although he doesn’t return his sentiment. In his opinion, it’s never really good to meet people. There are too many variables. He’d rather stick to what he knows.

Mike shakes Farlan’s hand too, and then he gestures at their kills. “Snakes, huh? I never could find a way to like them.”

“Tell me about it!” Isabel exclaims. “They’re so bland.”

“We have quite a bit of food at our settlement, if you’d like to come back with us and trade. I’m sure we could help each other out.”

“We’re good, thanks,” Levi interjects. He’ll let Isabel have her fun, but when it comes to decisions like this, he makes the final call. If their boats are any indication, their settlement is somewhere beyond the ocean, which means that if anything gets hairy, they’ll have less escape routes. That’s not the kind of risk he’s willing to take.

“You sure?” Mike asks, raising an eyebrow and giving them a onceover. It’s a little patronizing, and a flame of irritation ignites in Levi’s belly. “Seems like you guys could use a proper shower, at the very least.”

Isabel and Farlan lose their shit at his statement. “You guys have running water?!”

“We have a lot of things.”

Levi’s two friends look at him with wide and sparkling eyes, pleading, like children begging to open up the coveted can of bacon because it’s Christmas. It’s annoying because they know it works on him most of the time, and it’s even more annoying that he’d be willing to kill a man at this point to be properly clean.

“Fine,” he finally says. Farlan and Isabel cheer. “But I have no qualms about cutting off some fingers if anyone tries anything funny.”

Mike nods. “Duly noted.”

They climb into the boats while Mike and his people finish loading up their supplies. The others don’t seem bothered or on edge about the fact that they’re in the presence of strangers; maybe this is a common occurrence. Maybe Mike is just a weird, tall dude who sees all the little people around him as stray animals to be taken in.

Once everything is loaded and everyone is in, they begin rowing. It’s mostly quiet, though Mike occasionally chats to Farlan and Isabel. Levi is busy making mental notes of how many weapons everyone has. The heat of the sun beats down against them, unrelenting, and the constant rise and fall of the boat makes his stomach spin. Well, that’s new—Levi didn’t know that he gets seasick. He’s never been on a functioning boat before.

Not long later, land comes into view. Levi sees all the telltale signs of what used to be civilization: run-down buildings and overgrown structures, but there’s a large domed building a little ways off the coast that catches his eye. He doesn’t get the opportunity to think too much about it though, because in the next moment, he realizes that the coast is crawling with movement.

People. And vehicles. Tens of them, in his line of sight alone.

“Isabel,” he says with a warning tone when she starts gushing about how developed of a place Mike’s got. She sees Levi’s grim expression and settles down; Farlan casually places his hand on the pistol strapped to his hip.

For all he knows, these people can be good. They can offer them showers as promised and trade for a few things and let them be on their way. But for all he knows, these people can be thieves, liars, murderers. Levi’s certainly met enough of them to be prepared for the worst case scenario.

Once they dock and tie up their boats, Mike says to his people, “You folks got it from here?” They give him various signs of affirmation, and he turns his attention to Levi, Isabel, and Farlan. “Why don’t I introduce you to a few people and show you the showers?”

“I didn’t realize there were so many steps to take in order to be clean,” Levi says, his eyes flickering around him, marking alleyways, escape routes, hiding places.

“Yes, well,” Mike begins walking, “our Commander likes to meet all the new faces that pass through here.”

Levi imagines Mike being ordered around by someone taller than him—or even better yet, Mike being ordered around by someone shorter than him.

As they walk, he continues to map the area in his mind. The streets aren’t busy, by any means, but they’re clearly inhabited; some of the people they pass by are patrols, signified by their stiff posture and the guns in their hands; some are people running errands, with piles of laundry or boxes of food and produce in the backs of their trucks. Whatever kind of settlement is here has clearly been here for a while.

Mike leads them out of the city proper and down the shore towards the large domed building. He’s quieter now, more serious, his strides stretching so far they have to jog to keep up. Beyond the domed building is the slope of mountains, and if Levi squints, he can make out fences and livestock.

The domed building seems to be a place of work. Although people appear relaxed, they walk with intent, always with a destination in mind. Mike waves over a woman with short, blonde hair. “Nanaba. Where’s the Commander?”

“Downstairs. Want me to go get him?”

“If you could. It’s no rush though—just some new faces.”

“Gotcha. I’ll let him know.”

Nanaba heads through a guarded set of doors that looks like it opens to a stairwell. The doors swing shut too quickly for Levi to be sure. Mike gestures for the three of them to sit on some crates while they wait for the Commander; Farlan and Isabel take him up on the offer, Levi doesn’t.

Levi knows the Commander is in their presence by the way the people around them move differently. Their voices become a decibel quieter and they tread more carefully. When this happens, he stops spinning his blade in his hand to look up, and—

Blue Eyes.

The shock of seeing him is enough for Levi’s jaw to go slack and his eyes to widen. He strides towards them, solemn and proud, brows furrowed and lips pressed into a tight, thin line. He’s wearing a white button-down shirt that’s tucked into khaki pants, and the only thought that goes through Levi’s mind is who the hell wears such light colored clothes these days when everyone is constantly getting covered in blood and grime?

When he reaches them, his mouth forms into a smile (it doesn’t reach his eyes) and he stretches his arm out to shake Farlan and Isabel’s hands. “My name is Erwin Smith. I’m the one people report to around these parts. It’s always good to see new faces.”

_Erwin Smith._ Levi had forgotten that name. Time has passed and his memory has faded, but he never did forget that icy blue hue of his eyes. It haunted him on some nights, when he laid awake and sleep wouldn’t take him. He had forgotten everything about him except for those eyes—but now the memories come rushing back, as fresh as though they just happened yesterday.

They still look the same. When Erwin shakes his hand, no recognition flashes through them. “Levi,” he says, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Erwin’s fingers squeeze tight. “Good to meet you, Levi. Will you and your friends be staying long?”

“That depends,” Levi says. “How long can we stay?”

“For as long as you like. Of course, if you stay for long, we do ask that you help give back to our community. Mike will find things for you to do.”

Levi searches Erwin’s face for any sign that he remembers him, but there’s nothing. “We’ll think about it. Thanks.” He pulls his hand out of Erwin’s grip, who seems to be surprised that he’s still holding on, and turns to Mike. “You mentioned showers.”

“It was good to meet you three,” Erwin says, stepping away. “Hopefully I’ll see you again.” With a final wave, he spins and returns the way he came, down the same guarded stairwell that Nanaba went through to fetch him.

As Mike brings them back to the city proper to a repurposed hotel, Levi finally sees the graffiti. He had been so busy making notes of the city layout and the people crawling the streets that he hadn’t noticed the Firefly logo tagged on several surfaces. It’s on the side of the hotel too, and the wall there is big enough to fit their slogan as well:

_Look for the light._

The full slogan is “When you’re lost in the darkness, look for the light.” Levi’s heard it enough when he was younger that it’s branded in his brain, though he’s always thought that it was deceitful, falsely hopeful in a world that no longer has room for hope. He tries to rid his mind of the words, but now that he knows he’s amongst Fireflies, he can see it in every person he passes: these people believe in them. They breathe them, they live by them.

Mike gives them two rooms: one for Isabel, and another for Levi and Farlan. They’re old hotel rooms, clearly used by previous guests and not cleaned very thoroughly, but there are two large beds in Levi and Farlan’s and moths haven’t eaten through any of the bedding, and that’s a vast improvement from the tiny bed in the boat that they’ve shared for the past three weeks. Farlan immediately falls backwards onto one of them, bouncing on the squeaky mattress and laughing in disbelief.

“Our next boat back to the mainland is in a few days,” Mike tells them. “I’ll check on you guys in the morning—take your time deciding. Like Erwin said, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”

“Can we stay forever?” Farlan asks dreamily.

From the doorway, Mike smiles. “The Fireflies will always welcome you.”

When the door closes and they’re finally left alone, Levi immediately takes out all of his extra clothes. They’re either dirty, bloody, or crusty with dried oceanwater, and the first order of business is to clean them up.

“So? What’s the verdict?” Farlan’s up and leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom as Levi runs the bath to soak his clothes in. “Can we trust them?”

“The Fireflies are dreamers,” Levi says. “They usually don’t start conflict unless they have to.”

“I heard the used to bomb government buildings.”

“They were a rebel group looking for a cure during a time when the government was only interested in controlling the masses. They bombed government buildings to build unrest and steal supplies.”

“So you think we’re on their good side because we’re not government officials that withhold supplies from them?”

Levi places an old and worn pair of jeans into the bathtub. He got them on the same day he tried to kill the previous leader of the Fireflies. He thinks of Erwin and tries to remember the things he said, but his memory surrounding the event is fuzzy. That entire day was a sequence of bad luck and poor decisions. “I think that we’re safe for now,” he settles on.

“Will we stay here for long?”

Although he can’t remember the exact words that left Erwin’s mouth, Levi remembers being immensely bothered by his existence. “No. We resupply, we help out to pay our debts, and we go. One week, maybe two, tops.”

Farlan pauses before he replies. “Okay.” He probably doesn’t like that answer, and Isabel won’t either; they’re a little less jaded than Levi, more willing to trust—they probably like the idea of staying here, for obvious reasons. Levi doesn’t, perhaps for less obvious reasons.

He scrubs the shit out of his clothes until the water is cloudy, drains the tub, and scrubs them again. And then finally, after hanging them up to dry, he showers.

He tries not to think about Erwin in the basement of that domed building while he does so.

* * *

Farlan tends to listen to Levi when it’s just the two of them, but when Isabel is behind him to light his fire, he becomes as annoying as she is.

They spend the next three meals trying to convince Levi that they should stay. First, at dinner: they had given their snakes to the cooks, who accepted them with thinly veiled expressions of confusion and disgust, in return for the meal prepared for everyone that night: burritos.

“Look at this,” Farlan says, holding out his half-eaten burrito as though Levi doesn’t have his own to stare at. “It’s pork. They have pigs. _And_ —salt! Spices!”

“Bro, we have to stay,” Isabel exclaims with her mouth full. Levi grimaces. “It’s been so long since I’ve had salt that I forgot how it tastes. People die without salt, did you know that?”

“Good thing we have a boat on the water,” Levi says, although he doubts the legitimacy of her statement. “You know, saltwater.”

Breakfast the next morning is eggs and potatoes. It’s simple but delicious—again, salted—and even Levi has to admit that it’s probably been years since he’s eaten real eggs, not that powdered crap.

“Two hot meals in a row,” Isabel sighs. “Eaten on plates with cutlery. At this rate, I bet we’re going to have three meals a day.”

“Careful,” Levi says, shoveling eggs into his mouth. He chews and swallows fully before he continues. “If you get too fat, you won’t be able to outrun the infected.”

Isabel throws a piece of potato at him.

They break apart after breakfast to help out around the island. Isabel makes her way to where the livestock is and Farlan helps with the heavy lifting in the kitchen; Levi somehow finds his way to the makeshift armory that Mike pointed out to them, sharpening blades and wiping down firearms that have received maintenance. The repetition of the work is calming and he finds his mind going pleasantly blank for the first time in a long while, gaining satisfaction from wiping the guns so clean that he can even see his own reflection in some of them. By the time his stomach growls in protest for some lunch, it’s already late afternoon and he’s missed the cafeteria hours.

So understandably, when he reconvenes with Farlan and Isabel for a dinner of fish and chips, he’s ravenous, irritable, and doesn’t want to hear more about how they should permanently join the Fireflies.

“I helped bring these fish in,” Farlan says proudly. “They were freshly caught today. A boat hauled them in with these huge nets—there must’ve been a hundred of them, at least!”

“Are you sure?” Isabel asks skeptically. “That’s a lot of fish.” Levi pokes suspiciously at the hard layer surrounding the fish, but is too hungry to wonder what it is before taking a bite. The outer shell is crunchy and slightly aromatic. He frowns, because crap, it’s good.

“I learned how to shear a sheep today.” Isabel continues to talk, something about how the wool will be used to make clothes. “They’re so sweet and fluffy! Tomorrow, I’m going to learn how to milk a cow.” She’s beaming in a way Levi has never seen before, her smile so wide it almost reaches her ears. She’s always had an affinity towards animals, whether it be horses or the occasional wild bear, and whenever they dream about could-have-beens in the dark of night, she talks about being an animal doctor. There are many futures that have been stolen by the pandemic, but Levi thinks Isabel’s would have been especially bright.

“I think we should stay,” Farlan says through a mouthful of fries. “There’s an actual community here. We have food and shelter, and the island is difficult to attack. Infected can’t sneak up on us. Giving back to the community seems like a small price to pay for all of that.”

The conversation pauses, indicating that they’re waiting for Levi to talk. He chews slowly, giving himself time to think before he speaks. “The more you have, the more you have to lose.” He pauses then, considering whether or not he should tell them what’s really been on his mind since yesterday, and then decides that for all that they’ve been through together, they deserve the truth. “Also, I know their Commander, and I don’t like him.”

Farlan and Isabel share a look—it’s the same look as when they’ve given up after three hours of cleaning a new living space and they let him do it the way he likes it. Basically, the “Levi is crazy” look.

“How do you know him?” Farlan asks.

“I tried to kill the previous leader of the Fireflies a while back, failed spectacularly, and he helped me out of that situation.” They stare at him, waiting for him to continue. “That’s it.”

“That makes him a bad guy?” Isabel asks at the same time Farlan goes, “You tried to kill their previous leader?”

“You guys don’t get it,” Levi mutters. “You weren’t there.”

“He seemed nice to me,” Isabel says. “What’s wrong with him?”

“He…” What _is_ wrong with Erwin, exactly? “He’s got stupid ideals. And a bad sense of humor.” And whether he remembers it or not, he’s seen Levi without his pants on.

Farlan shrugs. “That doesn’t seem like it’s worth leaving this place for. I get the feeling we won’t be seeing much of him anyway.”

“I don’t like him,” Levi says decidedly, and they share The Look again.

“Okay,” Farlan says. “If you want to go, then we go. Just say when.”

Isabel nods in agreement, lips curling upwards into a soft smile. “I’d choose you over a lifetime of hot meals any day, bro.”

Levi ducks his head down to avoid looking at his friends, at these people who would give up the sun and stars for him. He’s sure he doesn’t deserve them, but he doesn’t know how to say it—doesn’t know how to tell them to stay here for a safer, happier life while he leaves and returns to his lonely ways. The truth is that they can be annoying shits, but since he met them, he’s been happier than he’s been in a very long time, and the fact that they will go where he goes, without question, is making him grimace in an attempt to stuff down his stupid feelings.

He doesn’t say anything in response to their monumental choice to follow him back out into a world of danger and uncertainty, and judging from how they start chatting with each other about where they might travel to next, they’ve known him for long enough that he doesn’t need to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah, thank you for your feedback on the first chapter! I'm going to try to get up new chapters biweekly, but I was just so excited that I couldn't wait. I hope you guys liked this chapter as well! What's Erwin been up to these last five years? Why does Levi have to let his opinion of him affect all of their lives??


	3. Chapter 3

The routine of life on the island is calm. Meals are at the same time every day, people do their jobs, and at the end of it all, they get to sleep in a bed and do it all over again the next day. The predictability of it makes Levi fidgety and anxious, makes him think that there’s something just around the corner, waiting for him to lower his guard.

A boat left the island yesterday for the Fireflies’ biweekly scavenging trip, but Levi decided to wait to catch the next one because Farlan and Isabel looked so content. He had told them that they could stay and he would go, but they would hear none of that. The least he could do for them was give them a few more days. When they leave, they’ll have spent exactly one week here, and one week is plenty for Levi.

He hasn’t seen Erwin since the first day.

For some reason, Levi thought that Erwin would be everywhere—overbearing and overwhelming like the first time they met—but he has been anything but. His name floats across the island like a revered secret, but as for the man himself, he stays out of sight. Levi suspects he’s probably always in the basement of that domed building. He thinks back to when Erwin declined his offer to travel with him, and the reason why: to find a cure and save humanity.

The thought still makes him scoff because it’s so stupid. A cure for a species that only knows how to turn on each other when things go to shit. None of them deserve saving.

He thinks the endeavor is such a waste of time, so he isn’t sure why he’s out on the streets late at night, searching for answers like he cares, long after the sun has gone down.

There are still some people out and about, sitting around and chatting, but most people have turned in for the day. Levi keeps his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his switchblade tight in his fist. As safe as this place apparently is, he isn’t going to take any chances.

He stays in the shadows as is his habit, keeping out of sight of the patrols even though he doesn’t have to. Within a few minutes, he’s outside the city proper and heading down the road along the coast, the domed building in in the distance. The night air is salty and warm and the breeze feels like it’s caressing him. Everything here is so gentle, so lulling; it feels like a hazy dream and Levi doesn’t like the way it dulls his senses. He grips his switchblade tighter and digs his fingernails into his palm.

When he reaches the domed building, he waits outside for Erwin. He doesn’t know if he’ll come out and he doesn’t even know if he wants him to, but he stands there and waits anyway, leaning against the railing, the ocean at his back.

Levi’s spent hours staking out locations, memorizing patrol patterns or waiting for that one person he needs to incapacitate. He’s spent days holed up in houses, waiting for hordes of infected to pass him by, following migratory patterns that no one understands. Waiting for Erwin to finish for the night feels like nothing.

He does come out, eventually. He’s wearing more light colored clothes. He’s busy flipping through a notepad and doesn’t notice Levi until he straightens up and steps closer to him.

Erwin’s eyebrows raise. “Levi.”

He tilts his head to the side. “Just Levi.”

Erwin smiles slightly, as if he remembers. “Just Levi,” he says fondly. “Yes, that’s it.”

“So you haven’t forgotten me.”

Erwin flips his notepad shut and slips it into his pocket. “Of course I haven’t forgotten you. Shall we walk together?” He doesn’t wait for Levi to answer before he begins strolling back the way Levi came. Levi has to jog a little to catch up to him.

“If you didn’t forget me, why did you pretend not to know me?”

“It didn’t seem like the time for catching up. I’m usually quite busy.”

“Busy. Yeah.” Levi clicks his tongue. “You took over after Marlene died.” He never did know how that happened.

“Yes. And with much time and effort, the Fireflies are what they are today.”

Levi can’t quite place it, and it’s not like he ever really knew him in the first place, but something about Erwin seems different.

“You still looking for a cure?”

“That has always been one of our primary goals, yes.”

They continue their way along the coastline, and Levi’s run out of questions to ask. They walk in silence for several minutes, the looming outlines of buildings growing bigger as they get closer to the city proper. Being with Erwin feels surreal somehow, like Levi’s floating and grounded at the same time, like he wants to be anywhere but here but also like he’s spent every second since he walked away from Erwin waiting to be with him again.

“How have you been since we last met?” Erwin asks, his voice bringing Levi out from the depths of his thoughts. “It’s been quite some time.”

“Fine,” Levi says. “I’ve been fine.”

“You’ve found some people to travel with.”

“Yeah. I’m not as unlikeable as you thought I was.”

“I didn’t find you unlikeable. I actually thought you’d be quite enjoyable to be with.” The honesty of Erwin’s statement makes Levi stop in his tracks. Erwin stops too, turning back to look at him. His eyes, even in the dark, are so hauntingly blue.

Levi holds up a finger at him. “Don’t say that shit. You didn’t come with me.”

Erwin opens his mouth, and then closes it. Opens it again. “I had things to do, Levi. I told you that. It was nothing personal.”

“So I’m not unlikeable, but I wasn’t likeable enough.”

“I was thinking about the future of the human race, and I hardly knew you. I still hardly know you.”

His statement strikes a chord in Levi and he blinks, as if stepping out of a stupor. Humiliation floods his system and he feels his neck flush. The darkness better be enough to hide it.

“Right,” he mutters, brushing past Erwin, steps quicker than before. Unfortunately for him, Erwin’s a giant and it takes no effort for him to match his pace.

“Will you and your friends be staying? We could get dog tags made for you.”

“No,” Levi says curtly, “we’re leaving on the next boat.”

It’s a heartbeat before Erwin answers. “I see.”

“What, upset that I don’t care enough about humanity to stay? You knew that much about me, at the very least.”

“Levi,” Erwin says, and he only further quickens his pace, keeping his eyes straight ahead, barely registering the streets enough to find his way back to the hotel. “You’re being a bit aggressive right now.”

“Yeah, well, now you know that about me too. I’m fucking aggressive.”

“No, I suppose I already knew that.”

Levi opens his mouth to retort, but nothing comes out. He makes a sharp right at the next corner and continues to move, walking as fast as he can without breaking into a jog. “I know how to find my way back,” he snaps when he realizes Erwin’s still following him.

“I know,” is all he says in response.

It feels like too long before they reach the hotel, Erwin’s presence a fire licking at Levi’s heels the entire time. The patrols standing watch at the main entrance recognize Levi and let him push open the heavy front doors; Levi spins on his heel in the doorway to face Erwin, who’s standing so close he needs to crane his neck upwards to properly meet his eyes. It’s the first time that Levi actually feels small and powerless in front of someone bigger than him.

“You’re the Commander of the Fireflies,” he says evenly, hands gripping tight on the door handles.

“Yes,” Erwin says. His expression is serious—far more serious than Levi remembers seeing it years ago, when he was just one of the grunts being ordered around by Marlene.

“I’m not a Firefly,” Levi says. Swallows the lump in his throat.

“I understand that.”

Levi searches Erwin’s eyes, but he doesn’t know what he’s looking for. He doesn’t find anything anyhow; Erwin’s very good at guarding his thoughts, it seems, and those icy blues are impenetrable.

“So we’re done here,” he says, and shuts the doors in Erwin’s face.

* * *

Levi wiggles his toes in the sand, feeling every single grain against his skin. It doesn’t bother him so much now knowing that he can shower later, even if the water pressure is shit. At least there’s water pressure at all.

“Levi, are you okay?” Farlan’s voice brings him back to the present, where they and Isabel are sitting on the beach after dinner, watching the waves lap at the shore. “You’ve been pretty quiet these past few days.”

“Yeah,” Levi replies, “because you usually can’t get me to shut up.” This doesn’t get either of them to laugh like he intended it to, so he turns away.

“Is something bothering you?” Isabel asks.

“No.” There is, but he doesn’t know what it is, and he doesn’t particularly want to share right now.

They probably know that he’s lying, but they don’t push him. Instead, Farlan says, “I think it’ll be nice to continue south. That way, it won’t be as cold when winter hits. What do you think, Levi?”

“South sounds good,” he says. Maybe they’ll go far enough to hit Texas. Maybe the people there tip their cowboy hats at you before they shank you.

“Tonight’s our last night in a nice bed for a while,” Isabel sighs, flopping onto her back and staring up at the sky. It’s turning warm shades of pink and orange as the sun sets. “I’m going to enjoy every moment of it.”

“You guys don’t have to come with me,” Levi says for what feels like the millionth time.

“Yeah, except Isabel’s going to cry every day if she’s separated from you,” Farlan jokes, which gets him a face full of sand from Isabel. “Hey, watch it!”

“I wouldn’t cry!” she retorts, red-faced. “I don’t cry, Levi.”

Levi thinks she’d probably cry. “Sure.”

It doesn’t matter, he supposes. It doesn’t matter if they have beds or not, hot meals or not, showers or not—all that really matters is that they can be together like this. Which is a stupidly cheesy sentiment so he keeps it locked firmly inside his mind, but he feels it, which is just another emotion to add to the mix of nameless, uncomfortable emotions already brewing in his stomach.

This is the apocalypse. Emotions mean nothing. Things are simple: you live, and then you die, either slowly or quickly. And Levi is determined that when it’s his turn, it will be quick, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be on this island full of Erwin’s false ideals.

* * *

The quiet darkness of the night puts him more at ease than the bustling daytime. Levi finally feels left alone, reminding him of the years of his life that he spent this way. Those years were simpler. Those times were easier.

He should probably be spending his last night on the island actually enjoying his bed like Isabel said she would, but he can’t sleep. It’s late now, later than it’s ever been on his nighttime strolls here on this island; the only people around are the patrols, and there are even less during this hour than there are earlier in the evening. Levi only passes one every few blocks, and none of them pay him any attention.

He runs through the checklist in his mind. Tomorrow morning, he’ll shower, grab breakfast, and then pick up the supplies the Mike promised them for all of their extra work these past few days. The boat will leave mid-morning and then they’ll head south along the coast—

Levi stops in his tracks and returns around the corner of the building he just came around, keeping out of sight. There’s movement on the docks in the distance—a boat docking, although Mike had told Levi that boats only go to and from the island twice a week, and always during the day. He squints as he peers around the corner, but it’s hard to make out who’s out there or what’s happening in the darkness. He’s close enough to hear something though, a sound he hasn’t heard in a week—

Groans and feral shouts. Those are unmistakably the sounds of an infected.

“I still think we could’ve gotten that other one,” he hears someone say. “I almost had it, Erwin!”

“We don’t need it.” Erwin’s voice. Deep.

“What if we lose this one for some reason? Then we’ll need to go out and search again.”

“Then we go out and search again.” It’s Mike’s voice this time. Levi squints, as though it’ll help him make out what’s happening over there. It doesn’t. “You’re always too reckless. That second one almost got you, you know.”

“Pshhh. I had it under control.”

“Careful, stay away from its mouth…”

“He’s gagged!”

Levi sees a handful of silhouettes. The tallest one must be Mike, and the next tallest one is Erwin. There’s one that’s hunched over and lumbering around, clearly fighting against the restraints that it’s in. There are two more figures that he doesn’t recognize. One of them holds the infected by a collar, close enough to be bitten, while everyone else stays a safer distance away. They begin to move away from the docks, and Levi, being the nosy rat that he is, decides to follow.

They don’t go far. Their destination is another hotel—this island was once a tourist attraction, Mike had said, and it has the hotels to prove it—and the guards let the group in. There are more patrols around this particular building than anywhere else; Levi suspects that this is where Erwin and his close circle must stay. In his entire week of being here, he hasn’t seen anyone of particularly high ranking in the hotel that he’s staying at.

When the doors close, everything is quiet. Levi stands there for a long time, hidden in the dark, the sound of the infected still reverberating in his ears. Although there hasn’t been a single place on this island that’s been off limits to him, he has a feeling that this hotel is.

He’s not sure how long he stays there for, staring at the doors. They’re large and imposing with ornate brass handles that shine in the dim light. Levi keeps wondering what lays beyond them.

* * *

“I’m all packed!” Isabel announces the next morning, bursting into Levi and Farlan’s room. Farlan is partway through packing his own bag too; Levi, having just stepped out of the shower, has not begun yet. “You guys are slow on the uptake this morning.”

“I was up late last night,” Levi says, toweling his hair dry. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Later than usual?” Isabel asks.

“I heard you coming back a bit before sunrise,” Farlan says. “Where were you?”

Levi hesitates. On one hand, where he was and what he saw has absolutely nothing to do with them, and it doesn’t affect their plans to leave the island. On the other hand, it’s fishy as hell and he wants to know what’s going on.

So he tells them. Because what’s the point of friends if they can’t come up with outlandish theories together?

After his story, Isabel scratches her head and frowns. “Remember the Rattlers back up in Santa Barbara? Maybe it’s something like that.”

Unfortunately, Levi does remember the Rattlers. They were a group of slave owners who kept infected around to threaten their human slaves when they refused to work. Sometimes they went through with that threat. For whatever reason, they fell apart before the three of them made it to Santa Barbara, but people in the area still talked about them like a haunting. They travelled through the area where the Rattlers made their home, saw the remnants of the farms the slaves tended to, the cages they were kept in.

“That wouldn’t make sense,” Levi says. “The Fireflies’ hospitality has been the exact opposite of what slave owners would do.”

“Maybe they like having infected around for fun?” Farlan guesses, shrugging. “To, I don’t know, blow off some steam or something.”

“That wouldn’t explain bringing just one in under the cover of night,” Isabel points out. “That implies that it’s a secret. Oh! Maybe they’re testing out new recipes. Maybe the pork in the burritos isn’t actually pork.”

Levi stares at her. Farlan does some gross combination of laughing and dry heaving.

“That’s vile,” he says in between the quite vile sounds he’s making himself.

“Which is why it’s a secret! Oh God, it all makes sense now.”

The two of them share a laugh, but Levi can’t quite bring himself to do so because he’s imagining having eaten infected burritos for the past week.

“I guess we’ll never know,” Farlan says eventually with a shrug. “Five more minutes and I’ll be ready. Levi, you haven’t started packing yet.”

Levi glances over at his side of the room. His old backpack is sitting on the floor beside his bed and all of his weapons are either propped up against the wall or sitting on the round wooden table after they received their maintenance last night. His extra clothes are folded in a neat pile on the faded armchair. Farlan had pulled open the curtains while he was in the shower, and the early morning sunlight is cutting through the room, illuminating the yellowed floral patterns of the wallpaper.

He hardly thinks about the next words that come out of his mouth. “I’m not packing.” He turns towards them when silence meets his ears. “I’m not leaving.” Because even though he doesn’t, it feels like he has unfinished business here. It feels like he needs to figure out what he saw last night, and he needs to figure out Erwin. It’s a hell of a coincidence that their paths have crossed again, and there’s so much about him that Levi hasn’t untangled yet. This world is supposed to be simple and uncomplicated, but he’s never met someone quite as complicated as Erwin, and that fact alone keeps a flame of irritation burning deep in his belly that he needs to extinguish.

“If you’re not going, we’re not going,” Isabel says, as if Levi needs telling.

He grabs his weapons and puts them in his backpack. “Then we might as well go and take our hot breakfast for granted.”

“Maybe they make the sausages out of infected too!”

“That is disgusting and you need to stop talking,” is the last thing Levi says to Isabel before he walks out the door.

* * *

His decision was a selfish one on his part, but it’s already doing a world of good.

Isabel scarfs down her breakfast like a woman starved because she’s so excited to see the animals after having come to terms that she never would again. When she returns her dirty dishes and runs out of the cafeteria, Levi and Farlan are still slowly chewing on their eggs and bacon. Farlan seems more relaxed now too, his shoulders not as tense, his eyes not quite as busy.

“You gonna tell us why you changed your mind so suddenly?” he asks Levi, casually poking at his food.

Levi finishes the last of his coffee. “There’s something I need to figure out.”

Farlan is more accepting of his cryptic answers than Isabel is, and he nods. “You said that the Fireflies were looking for a cure, right? Are they still?”

“Seems so, yeah.”

“Do you think that’s what the infected is for?”

“I don’t know.” Levi frowns. “Maybe. I need to get closer to the action if I want to figure anything out.”

“We could ask Mike to help out with the scavenging group.”

That would probably yield more information than being stuck in the armory ever would. “Good idea. But let’s keep Isabel out of it—she’s happy where she is.”

“You know she won’t like that.”

“It’s not about what she likes. It’s about keeping her safe. If you have even half a brain, you wouldn’t do it either.”

Farlan grins his lopsided grin that Levi has come to know so well. “Then it’s too bad I’m as stupid as you, huh?”

They find Mike at the domed building after breakfast and ask to be transferred to the scavenging group. His surprise that they’ve decided to stay is only evident in the way his eyebrows raise by a fraction, but it only takes him a moment to recover, and he doesn’t ask them why they changed their mind. Mike doesn’t seem like the kind of person who asks questions, which Levi likes. Levi assumes that’s why Erwin keeps him so close too.

“Most people tend to choose safer jobs on the island,” he says. “What’s wrong with the kitchens and armory?”

“We’re getting a little antsy, you know?” Farlan replies. “We’d been on the road for so long. We miss the unpredictability of being out there—dodging bullets, killing infected, wondering whether we’ll live or die. You know, fun stuff.”

Mike laughs at this comment. “We certainly dodge bullets and kill infected once in a while. I’ll run this past Erwin, but it shouldn’t be a problem—we’re always looking for more people out in the field.”

“We need his permission to go out and risk our necks for the Fireflies?” Levi asks.

Mike tilts his head, a thoughtful smile on his lips. “We run any decision that risks the lives of others past him. He…prefers to take full responsibility.”

Levi scoffs. “Our lives aren’t his responsibility.”

“And it’s fine that you feel that way, but I still need to run this past him. For today, return to your normal posts. You’ll have an answer by tonight.” He dismisses them by turning away and flagging down Nanaba, and the two begin talking about supply inventory and what they need to get on their trip to the mainland later.

“Good to know bureaucracy still exists,” Farlan says quietly as they leave the domed building. “We could be out there today.”

“The closer we follow the rules, the less they’ll suspect us,” Levi replies. “If we want to find anything out, we need to be trustworthy, and questioning their process isn’t going to get us there. Besides, with a group this big, there’d be chaos without bureaucracy.”

“You know, for how roguish you are, you’re sure accepting of a chain of command.”

Levi shrugs. “The rest of humanity doesn’t have one, and look how they’re doing.”

It’s another hot day on the island. The morning sun continues rising higher, and they walk quickly to return to the city proper. On the grassy mountainside, Levi thinks he can make out a head of red hair with the sheep.

“Isabel’s going to be pissed,” he thinks aloud.

* * *

And he’s right about that.

“What the hell,” she hisses after Mike finds them at dinner, letting them know that their request to join the scavenging group has been approved. “You guys made this decision without me?”

“Levi wants to find out more about the infected they brought in,” Farlan says. “We figured the best way to that was to get closer to the action.”

Isabel’s lips are pressed tightly together, green eyes bright with both anger and hurt. “That doesn’t change the fact that you two made this decision _without me_.” When her voice shakes at the end of her sentence, Levi knows she’s really mad, because she’s about to cry, and she only cries when she’s furious.

Farlan holds up his hands as a sign of apology. “It’s okay,” he says, “I’m sure Mike can have you cleared by the end of tomorrow.”

“That’s not the point,” she says through gritted teeth, before turning to Levi. “Why do you always do this? And don’t you dare say—”

“It’s to keep you safe,” Levi finishes for her, eating his fries. They serve fries with dinner a lot.

Isabel’s fist comes down hard on the table. The sound of cutlery bouncing on plates turns some heads, but no one approaches them. “You never treat Farlan like this. It’s always just me. And I don’t know if it’s because I’m a woman—”

“You know it has nothing to do with that.”

“Then it’s because I’m the youngest. I don’t care the reason. I’m sick of it, Levi, you hear me? I am _equal_ and I can take care of myself.” Her jaw is tight, but her tears remain unshed, her face red with the effort of keeping them in.

Levi levels a hard stare at her. He’s apologetic for making her feel this way, but he also can’t stop himself from being protective of her, so he doesn’t backtrack. “If you want to put yourself in harm’s way so badly, go talk to Mike tomorrow. I won’t stop you.” He knows it’s not what Isabel wants to hear, and her face only gets redder at his words.

She opens her mouth but nothing comes out. After glaring lividly at him for a few more moments, she stands up and stalks away. Her dinner remains largely untouched.

After a minute of silence, Farlan speaks. “She’s really mad.”

“She’ll get over it,” Levi says. “Mad is better than dead.”

“She’s saved our asses a bunch of times.”

“She can be reckless.”

“You should still…” Farlan stops.

“Still what?”

He shakes his head. “Never mind.”

Levi can guess what the end of that sentence is, but he quietly continues to eat his food instead. When he finishes it, he moves to eat Isabel’s dinner, because the thought of wasted food makes him sick.

The truth is that if Farlan wasn’t the one to suggest switching to the scavenging team, Levi would’ve requested the transfer alone. It isn’t that Isabel is a woman or that she’s the youngest of the three of them—it’s that both she and Farlan are the only lights in Levi’s otherwise dark life, and he can’t bear the idea of them being gone.

People can promise they’ll be careful, and they can do all the right things, but sometimes they’re just unlucky. Sometimes people just die. Levi isn’t going to risk that just to spare some feelings.

* * *

People on the scavenging crew are also given patrolling duty on days without scavenging trips. Levi and Farlan are given their shifts the next day, in the lobby of the domed building.

Levi squints at the piece of paper in his hand, clearly ripped out of a notepad. “Night shift? Really?”

Mike shrugs. “Erwin makes the schedules, not me.”

“Aren’t patrol schedules a bit too mundane for the Commander of the Fireflies?”

“You like to question Erwin’s decisions a lot, don’t you?” Mike comments, which draws an involuntary frown out of Levi, but effectively shuts him up.

“I got all day shifts,” Farlan tells Levi. “Guess I won’t be seeing you much anymore, huh?”

“The guards in this building know about the change, and you two have been granted access downstairs. There’s a training area and shooting range that you’re welcome to help yourselves to. There are more resources down there than the common areas.” Mike checks his notepad for anything else he needs to tell them. “You’re welcome to use your personal weapons on duty as long as you register them with the armory, or you can donate them to the general use pool and pull from there each time. You two will be reporting to me. Any questions?”

“When do we start?” Levi and Farlan ask at the same time.

“Levi, you’re on tonight. Farlan, tomorrow. There’s a log book over there.” Mike points to the table sitting by the doors leading downstairs. “Sign in and out for each shift.”

Once all the details are settled, they’re dismissed for the day. Farlan immediately goes downstairs to check out the shooting range, but Levi wanders outside into the muggy morning. Isabel didn’t come to breakfast earlier; usually, when she’s mad at him, she doesn’t have the space to avoid him. That isn’t the case anymore. He glances up the mountainside, at all the people and the animals in the distance, and follows the path that’ll lead him upwards.

It’s overcast today, but the dark clouds don’t keep the heat at bay as he slowly climbs the steep slope. It’ll rain sometime soon, and with any luck, it’ll be tonight while he’s on patrol.

The livestock area feels like an entirely different world. The air is warm and sleepy, blanketed with a calmness that Levi feels is strange. The land is divided into several pens to separate the animals; from what he can see, there are horses, sheep, cows, and chickens—a lot of chickens.

That’s where he finds Isabel, collecting eggs and gingerly placing them into a basket. She has a sunhat on, looking as though she’s floating when she walks, and in this moment, she looks nothing like the force of nature that he knows her as.

“Isabel,” he calls out from beyond the fence. She looks up at him, and her expression, which until that moment has been serene, hardens with the edge of anger. He frowns. “Isabel, let’s talk.”

“Are you here to apologize to me?” she asks.

“I’m here to talk,” he says.

She purses her lips together. “If you’re not here to apologize, then I have nothing to say to you.”

“You’re being unreasonable.”

“ _I’m_ being unreasonable?” She gawks at him, looking a little bit like the chickens that are walking around and pecking at the ground.

“I never said that you couldn’t join the scavenging team.”

Her mouth closes, the anger melting away to be replaced by something more tired, more weary. “Sure. You never said that I couldn’t join the scavenging team, but you didn’t tell me about it and joined without me. You never said that we couldn’t help you clear out the horde of infected near the elementary school to help secure a water source, but you got up early and did it anyway without us and nearly died in the process. You never said I couldn’t be there to help negotiate a trade with those bandits, but you brought Farlan and left me out of it. That’s the whole problem, Levi, you _never say anything_. Do you know how fucking patronizing it is to have someone you love and respect treat you like you’re less than?”

For some reason, Levi didn’t think she’d actually push back. The fact that she does, and successfully pokes holes in his argument by simply retelling the truth, leaves him speechless. He keeps his expression devoid of any surprise he feels because pride is real and he’s just as susceptible to it as anyone else, but it’s not the reaction that Isabel was hoping for, and her face falls. Her disappointment feels like a punch to the gut.

“So much for coming to talk,” she says quietly, before turning and walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the burn is so slow, and in my opinion, so delicious. levi, will you ever learn to properly communicate with those around you? why are you so salty that erwin didn't take you up on your offer? and what the heck is erwin up to???


	4. Chapter 4

Levi wiggles his toes and frowns at the unpleasant sensation of wet shoes.

Fortunately, it’s the only part of him that’s wet. He found an overhang of a building to take cover under for his patrol duty, which is where he’s been standing for the better part of an hour with nothing to keep his attention except for the sound of heavy, tropical rain. The sun is nearly all but gone over the horizon, and he’ll be spending the next several hours standing here in the dark.

The streets are extra empty thanks to the weather, and it’s been this way for the past two days. Levi’s first shift on patrol duty had graced him with some passing conversations as people walked past him, but now he doesn’t even have that, and he’s left with the voices inside his own head.

The voices wonder why Erwin placed him on night shift. They wonder why he hardly ever sees Erwin. They wonder why Levi even cares to wonder about Erwin in the first place.

So then they wonder how Levi’s going to repair his relationship with Isabel, because by this point, he understands that he’s the one who fucked up, but he’s never known people long enough or cared about them enough to try to make amends. They say that he’ll probably never make amends, and at that point he tells the voices to fuck off.

He’s positioned at the edge of the city proper, where the docks are far away but still in his periphery. In the dim glow of dusk, Levi can make out a small group of people heading down there and climbing aboard a small boat: Mike, Erwin, and he suspects the same two strangers that were there the night he watched the infected being brought back. He glances around; none of the patrols in the area seem perturbed by this, even though Levi purposely checked and memorized the boat schedule, and this outing definitely wasn’t on it.

Erwin’s the one who put together the patrol schedules and assigned each person’s post, so he must’ve known that Levi would see this. Knowing that only makes him more uneasy. He watches the boat float away, its engine only a quiet hum to his ears.

Everything is quiet for the next several hours. The sun fully disappears behind him over the mountains and the heavy rain becomes nothing more than a light drizzle. Levi even steps out from under the overhang for a few minutes to feel the wetness in his hair and keep him alert. He’s a bit of an insomniac even on his best days, but he’s still getting used to actually working this late in the night.

When the boat returns near the end of his shift, it’s significantly fuller than it was when it left, bordering on having too many people in it. Levi strains his eyes but it’s too dark to really discern anything, and even with the lighter rain, they’re too far away to hear. He watches the people get out of the boat and walk away, in the direction of the hotel they disappeared into last time, all the while fighting the urge to follow them. There’s no point in trying to be sneaky now; Erwin knows Levi can see what’s happening. The best way to get more information is to gain Erwin’s trust, and to do that, he needs to follow all of his orders to a tee.

Not long later, the next guard comes to relieve him of his post. He signs out of his shift in the log book and heads back to his own hotel in a brisk jog, feet and legs aching from standing still for so long. It’s just cool enough that the rain sets a slight chill in his bones, so he takes a warm shower before curling up in bed, listening to Farlan’s steady breathing as he sleeps.

Despite his physical tiredness, Levi’s mind continues to spin as he lays in the dark, and it isn’t until the room begins to glow with the sunrise that dreamless slumber finally takes him.

* * *

“Levi.” Mike catches him just as he enters the domed building, which he realizes now used to be a casino. “Do you have a moment?”

Levi glances at the clock on the wall. “I’m clocking in in ten minutes, but that’s about it.”

Mike nods, as though he and Levi have reached some sort of understanding. Levi doesn’t really feel that way. “Punctuality—I appreciate that in a person. Erwin wants to speak to you. He’s downstairs.”

“Sure.” Of course Erwin’s downstairs. When he’s not doing shady stuff off the island or in his hotel, he’s doing slightly less shady stuff downstairs.

Levi passes the shooting range and training area, the sounds of gunshots firing and fists hitting punching bags resonating in the in the hallway. The floor here is tile, compared to the (slightly rotting) carpet of the ground level, and the cacophony of sound bounces off the hard floor and echoes all around him.

He knows exactly where Erwin’s office is even though he’s never been in it before: at the end of the hall and to the right. The door is slightly ajar but Levi knocks anyway, rapping twice with his knuckles. When he hears Erwin inviting him in, he pushes it open and steps into the room.

It’s sparsely decorated, lit by a single depressing lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. It looks more like a storage closet than anything in here, with a metal desk in the middle and a few plastic foldable chairs, the walls already close but feeling like they’re closing in even more by the second. On the desk are stacks and stacks of paper that somehow look chaotic and organized at the same time, and for some reason, Levi didn’t expect Erwin to have a working space as decrepit as this. Whenever he thought of Erwin working, he imagined a brightly lit room, sturdy wooden furniture, maybe a plush couch against the wall. Everything about Erwin screams royalty, and this room feels unbefitting of him.

He’s sitting at his desk, chin resting on his interlaced fingers. “Hello, Levi. I’m glad I could catch you before your shift.” He smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Please, sit.”

Levi sits in one of the foldable chairs and feels it protest at his weight. “You control my schedule. You know when I’m free.”

Erwin’s smile widens by a fraction. “I’m not sure if anyone has told you this, but your candidness quite refreshing.”

He shrugs. “I prefer to be told I’m going to be killed rather than try to figure out if I’m going to be killed. Might as well return the favor.” Although looking into Erwin’s eyes makes him feel fidgety, he can’t help but feel drawn in by the gravity of his gaze. Erwin has a way of looking at Levi like he’s the only one in the world, even when other people are in the room; even when Levi is several feet away, laying it thick onto a punching bag. He’s been able to avoid Erwin’s eyes on the occasions he noticed he was being watched in the training area next door, but in a tiny room like this, it’s impossible.

“I’ve been watching you,” Erwin says, as though he can see right into Levi’s thoughts. He clears his throat and straightens up. “And Mike tells me you’ve been impeccable on the front lines.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call them front lines. There isn’t much action, all things considered.”

Erwin nods. “Yes, we’ve cleared out many areas. But it doesn’t stop people from passing through and infected from roaming in. People need to be willing to change at a moment’s notice out there, and Mike tells me you’re very flexible.”

The praise feels uncomfortable, so Levi sits there in silence. Seemingly unperturbed, Erwin continues.

“He also tells me that our recent haul was largely thanks to you. The stash of tampons you came across was very much appreciated.”

Growing up like a rat teaches one to look in places where only rats would go. “I get lucky sometimes.”

“I hope that luck keeps up, then.”

One moment passes, and then two, and Levi’s jaw tightens. “Did you just call me here to butter me up, or do you actually have something to tell me?” When Erwin blinks, momentarily fazed, Levi feels like he’s regained some control of the situation, and his shoulders relax.

“People usually like it when I praise them,” Erwin says.

“Well, not me, so let’s cut to the chase.”

Erwin clears his throat, and all premises of idle chatting fade from his features. The hard lines of his face become more pronounced and his faint smile melts away completely. His eyes continue to bore holes through Levi, though the air in the tiny room has shifted, and Levi finds that he can hold this gaze better than the unguarded one before.

“I’d like to promote you to squad leader,” he says, taking a piece of paper off one of the many stacks on his desk. “On average, we’ve brought back more supplies since you transferred from the armory, and Mike said that your quick reflexes have saved lives on a few occasions.”

Levi blinks. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. “Uh. Are you sure?” It’s the only thing he can think of in response, and the moment the words leave his lips, he realizes how stupid they sound.

“Quite. So? What do you say?”

Levi wants to say that he doesn’t like being responsible for anyone but himself. He wants to say that he’s not as great as Erwin thinks he is, that his luck will run out soon and if he doesn’t die first, he’ll get people killed. That the only reason he’s here at all is to spy on him.

Instead, he says: “I want Farlan and Isabel on my squad.”

Erwin smiles, satisfied. “I’m sure they would’ve rioted otherwise.”

“And I want us moved to Pavilion.”

This request has Erwin stopping. Pavilion Hotel is the building he stays in, along with the rest of his close circle. Levi knows that he can impress him and Mike until the cows come home, but unless he has access to that building, he won’t find out jack shit, and this is the first time in the several weeks he’s been here that he’s had any leverage to get what he wants.

“We don’t have the room for that,” Erwin says, voice level.

Levi scoffs. “Bullshit. Only ten people live there, tops. It’s not a big hotel, but it can easily house more than ten.”

“It’s a multipurpose building.”

Levi stares straight at him, gaze burning. He’s negotiated in far worse situations than this and come out victorious. Erwin doesn’t intimidate him, not in this moment.

Erwin holds his gaze for longer than Levi expects him to. “You can move into Pavilion, but Farlan and Isabel stay where they are.”

Levi’s satisfied with that decision. “Fine.”

“I’ll have a room prepared for you. Your squad leader duties will begin tomorrow. Mike will brief you on them.” Erwin begins to meaninglessly shuffle the papers on his desk, and Levi takes that as a dismissal. It’s swift and impersonal and it leaves him staring dumbly at Erwin—for a moment too long, because Erwin glances up and asks, “Have I missed anything?”

“No,” Levi says. “It’s just—” And then he asks the question that’s been at the forefront of his mind since he entered the room because Erwin just seems to coax that out of him without even trying, “Aren’t you going to ask me why we decided to stay?”

He blinks, and then smiles. “Do you want to tell me?”

Levi scowls. “No.”

“Very well. Then I won’t ask.”

Something about his response makes Levi’s blood boil, and before he’s unable to stop himself from throwing his chair at Erwin’s face, he stands and leaves the room. He unconsciously and violently grinds his teeth all the way up to the ground floor, not realizing it until Mike catches him to talk and he notices that his jaw is sore.

Mike, seemingly sensing Levi’s barely tethered fury, asks, “Should we talk about your duties tomorrow instead?”

“Yeah,” Levi grinds out, and they leave it at that.

* * *

After what feels like a very long shift of patrol duty and a few hours of sleep, he stands outside Isabel’s room to catch her on her way to breakfast so she can’t ignore him. It’s what she’s been doing for the last several weeks, and Levi’s finally ready to make a change.

She comes out of her room fumbling with her key, so she doesn’t notice him until she’s shut the door behind him. Her eyes widen when she sees him, and then she sighs, like the mere sight of him is exhausting.

“What do you want?” she asks, shoving her key into her pocket and crossing her arms.

Even though she’s been angry with him, she transferred from the farm to the scavenging team anyway. Like Farlan, she’s been placed on daytime patrols so Levi hasn’t seen much of her, though they do have dinner together, always in a tense silence with Farlan trying to make things more bearable, which in turn actually makes them less bearable. She works with him on their scavenging trips when Mike instructs them to, but she never says anything to him that isn’t work-related. By week three of this behavior, Levi had accepted the fact that they would probably spend the rest of their lives like this, emotionally distanced and unable to be honest with each other.

But after his conversation with Erwin and an uneventful night shift that let his mind wander, he sees things in a new light.

“When I do things in your best interest,” he says, “does it piss you off because I don’t consult you about it?”

Isabel blinks, visibly surprised that he’s asking her this. “Uh, yeah.”

“And when I tell you you’re overreacting, I’m basically saying that you’re not able to make decisions for yourself and that feelings don’t matter. Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Levi watches as her eyes become glassy, and he prays that she doesn’t start crying, because he’s already way out of his comfort zone and her tears might just make him bolt out of there.

“And that makes you feel tiny and powerless.”

She nods. “Yeah.”

He sighs, but it comes out more like an aggravated huff. “If someone did that to me, I’d want to bash their face into a wall.”

“Trust me,” she says. “I’ve wanted to.” Then she swallows and her tears recede (thank fuck), and Levi sees her smile for the first time in weeks. It’s small, but it’s there, and the sight of it makes him feel lighter than he has in a long time.

He shrugs. “You can, if you want. I won’t resist.”

Isabel laughs, and settles with punching his arm instead. It’s actually quite forceful and an ache lingers there even as they go wake up Farlan, but he doesn’t complain. It’s a small price to pay to have her back.

The three of them have breakfast together and it feels like old times, and while they do, Levi tells them about his promotion and his new living arrangements.

“So wait,” Isabel says, “you’re leaving us?”

“I wanted you two to come too, but Erwin turned that down.”

“I’m actually surprised he even approved you,” Farlan says through a mouthful of potatoes. “He seems pretty private. This is a good sign though. It means he trusts you.”

It doesn’t feel that way, but Levi lets that thought slide.

“Can I room with you once he leaves?” Isabel asks Farlan. “It’s kind of lonely by myself.”

“You’re not even going to wait until my body is cold?” Levi comments.

“Oh, shut up,” she replies with a wry smile. “You wanted this. So what do we call you now? Captain Levi?”

The shudder that runs up his spine is sudden and visceral. “Hell no.”

“Gotcha, captain.” Isabel laughs in delight as she dodges a piece of potato.

“I’ll kick you out of my squad if you piss me off.” She salutes him, and even though it’s in a mocking manner, everything about it feels wrong.

Everything about leading a squad feels wrong. Everything about having people answer to him feels wrong. And even though this was his goal from the beginning, everything about Erwin trusting him feels wrong too. Sure, he’s a good scavenger, and he’s gotten people out of a few rough spots, but he hasn’t even been here for two months, and Erwin hardly knows him. Levi doesn’t think he’s justified in appointing him as squad leader, and for someone who’s as calculated and guarded as Erwin, it’s suspicious.

But something on this island isn’t right. Things are happening in the dead of night, and Erwin is behind it. So even if everything feels wrong right now, Levi has to keep going. He has to find out the truth.

* * *

Pavilion is a small hotel compared to the one he was staying at before. It’s only two floors, no more than twenty rooms, and the main floor is equipped with a swimming pool (no longer functional) and a cafeteria (still functional). No one mans the cafeteria, but someone keeps it stocked with coffee, tea, dried meats, and some very okay tasting crackers.

It’s on this particular night that Levi sits in the cafeteria, nursing a cup of coffee. If he wasn’t a night owl before, his night shifts have certainly made him one, though now that he’s squad leader, he has less patrolling duties and more planning to do and tactical meetings to attend. He sips at his coffee, remembering how Kenny used to trade valuable supplies for the stuff; Levi had tried it once when he was younger and hated the sour bitterness, the way his mouth felt dry afterwards. Now the taste is comforting. He huffs quietly at the thought—he had always sworn that he wouldn’t grow up to be anything like Kenny. Look at him now. Drinking coffee, doing shady shit in the dark of night.

He empties his cup and rinses it in the sink—even Pavilion can’t escape the shitty water pressure—before leaving it out to dry. Then he begins to move.

The building had fallen quiet approximately an hour ago. Anyone who was planning to sleep has already retired for the night, those who have night duties have left, and Erwin, as Levi has come to discover from his nocturnal nosiness, stays at the casino until very late, or sometimes doesn’t return at all. Everything and everyone is accounted for, and Levi feels comfortable enough with poking around.

The entire hotel is accessible to him except for the basement. This wasn’t explicitly stated to him, but he knows, because the doors to the stairwell has a padlock on it and no one talks about it. Levi wishes Erwin would stop hiding all of his secrets in basements; they’re dark and the air is stale, and in a climate like this, they’re great places for mildew.

A padlock has never been enough to keep Levi out, and he successfully picks it open in under a minute.

He quietly shuts the door behind him and turns on his flashlight, slinking down the stairs. It’s quiet, and the only thing he can hear are the soft pads of his footsteps and his own breathing, the sound of both amplified by the adrenaline in his veins.

The basement looks like it used to be for the hotel’s staff and custodial services, lined with narrow hallways, small offices and broom closets. Levi peeks into each one, but many of them are unused, signified by the thick layers of dust that have settled on the mess of broken equipment. He moves swiftly and silently, checking each area, until he comes across a partition made of old shower curtains that stretches across the entire width of the hallway. Levi stares at the faded floral pattern, pondering the absurdity of all the effort he’s gone through to get here, just for the last obstacle to keep him from discovering the truth to be this ugly thing.

Not quite knowing what to expect, he gently pushes apart the curtains and steps through.

The noise is immediate. Before Levi can take in his new surroundings, his ears are assaulted with the sound of clanging metal and feral shouts. With his free hand, he pulls his switchblade out of his pocket on instinct, body coiled and ready to strike, and it’s several long seconds for his mind to comprehend what he’s seeing.

He can’t tell what this area used to be, but it’s clearly been repurposed as a research area. It’s the cleanest space Levi has seen on the entire island, the tiled floor devoid of any dust or dirt, and there’s a faint smell of vinegar in the air. When he shines his flashlight in the corner, there’s a large metal cage, holding in a Runner that is intent on ripping Levi’s neck out with its teeth. He steps closer to it, though not close enough for it to be able to grab him through the bars, inspecting its face; for a creature that has had all humanity and logical thought stripped from it, it looks so angry. Anger is one of the most human emotions there are. Fungal growths have begun sprouting on its face, and something about how they’re flesh-colored makes him nauseous.

Levi steps away and his eyes sweep the rest of the room. It’s mostly sparse, though he does notice a second cage in the opposite corner, empty. There’s an open notebook on a metal table, and he strides over and glances at the pages—it seems to be a series of observations made over the course of many days, but they’re written in shorthand and he doesn’t understand them. Flipping through the other pages only yields the same type of notes.

He searches the remainder of the room but finds nothing of value, so he retraces his steps and pulls the shower curtains shut, moving quickly and quietly back up to the main floor. Moonlight streams through the windows of the lobby and he turns off his flashlight and shoves it back into his backpack.

He spends the next few seconds placing the padlock back on the door and locking it in place, and right as he thinks he’s in the clear and straightens up, he turns around and makes direct eye contact with Erwin.

The icy blue hue in the moonlight makes Levi’s blood run cold, and if he weren’t busy thinking about how royally screwed he is, he would’ve sworn out loud.

Erwin’s face is blank, which is already intimidating enough, but then he fucking smiles in that empty sort of way and it becomes terrifying. “Levi,” he says, and it’s fight-or-flight for him, and he has to make a real concerted effort not to go for Erwin’s throat. “What are you doing up so late?”

He clenches his fists so hard his fingernails dig into his palms. “Don’t waste our time with rhetorical questions,” he says. “You know what I was doing.”

Erwin’s smile melts from his mouth, and it’s replaced with a slight frown. “Yes,” he says quietly, “I suppose I do. I guess the real question here is why.” Levi doesn’t answer, but this doesn’t faze him. One day, he swears he’ll find a way to get under Erwin’s skin. “Why don’t we talk in private?”

Levi gestures at the empty lobby. “There’s no one around. If I’m going to get gutted, I’d rather it be out here where people can see my remains in the morning.”

Erwin’s brow furrows with concern. “I’m not going to gut you, Levi. It’s hurtful that you would even think that.” The honesty of his words gives Levi pause, but only briefly.

“You just caught me snooping around in an off-limits area that I assume holds secrets that even most Fireflies don’t know. I think it’s reasonable to assume that you’d want me dead now.”

“Come to my room,” Erwin says, the words stuck somewhere between an order and a plea. “We’ll talk there.”

And Levi doesn’t know what it is about Erwin, but suddenly he’s transported back to St. Mary’s Hospital in Salt Lake City and he’s looking at the man who extracted a bullet from his leg and offered him a mountain of supplies after releasing him. Levi doesn’t know what it is about Erwin, but he finds himself following him up one flight of stairs and to the end of the hall to his room. Levi doesn’t know what it is, but something about Erwin feels trustworthy even after he’s so clearly been wronged.

Levi doesn’t trust people without repeated and continued proof of trustworthiness, and the fact that he feels this way about Erwin makes his bones ache, makes his skin itch, makes him either want to kill Erwin or run so fast and so far that he’ll never see him again.

But instead, despite his better judgement, he follows him to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can i just say that writing eruri interactions is some of the most delicious and satisfying things one can do? ahhhh, these two
> 
> if erwin actually gutted levi...... this story would end real fast


End file.
